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Contemplation


In May of this year, I decided to ‘retire’ from a job that had increasingly become at odds with my health. Late nights and irregular hours made it impossible for me to plan health related appointments, meals, and participation in a few social events. Despite my efforts to recommend changes to a business that had been failing, holding onto ‘we’ve always’, and staff who were increasingly unable to do their jobs accurately and effectively, they chose not to change anything.

And so the end of May when a license renewal was due, I chose not to renew it. I wished them well, but time will tell whether their continued commitment to ‘we’ve always’ will be effective.

After spending a weekend at a medical school class reunion and some space in time and distance, I re-considered that renewal. It is hard to give up what I’ve worked so very hard for so many years.

And now I am volunteering my time at a local clinic seeing indigent patients a few days a week until they find a new provider.

But my back is not happy with all that time on a cement slab flooring and I spend nights awake with back pain. The health insurance company has denied every request for care not specifically identified and costing over $2…..yes, you read that correctly—$2! And even then wanting me to switch to something even less reliable for medications and cheaper for them.

So now it is time to change course again.

The answer regarding health insurance is clear, but what about my time?

How shall I spend my days with nothing in my day planner but doctor appointments? And those hopefully far and few between.

Our biggest decision during pandemic times was ‘what shall we have for supper’ and ‘who is cooking’. We’ve practiced that for nearly two years now, sometimes relying on a meal service to add variety.

Yardwork? There is always something to do outside in a year round growing climate.

Sorting through years of accumulations of paper and mementos?

Social butterfly?

Taking up a new hobby?

Aspiring to a new career?

Hmmm……..

One Comment Post a comment
  1. Jeannie Loving #

    Sylvia, So sorry you are in pain. And having uncooperative insurance makes it so much worse. I think you could spend all your time quilting and it would benefit mankind. I am letting go of missionary work, in this my sixteenth wonderful year. I will become an associate missionary and spend most of my time in Texas. At my age,(77) I think it is a good decision. But it has been a hard decision. It’s so much easier not to quit, to keep on doing what I love. I think God has kept me in good health just for my missionary work. My daughter has been instrumental, flatly refusing to care for my cat for longer than 2 weeks. She wants me to retire, even though she has no time for me, and hates my politics and the fact that I am religious. I have some idea of what you are going through. Change is hard, even when it’s necessary. For His Sake, Jeannie (Eugenia) Loving SAMS Missionary Danli, El Paraiso, HONDURAS HONDURAS (504) 9671-68-86 TEXAS (512) 566-2920

    August 21, 2022

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