Contemplation and Assessing
Some of my health care needs are found in Houston; a drive that has become much more challenging as traffic volume increases and parking spots diminish.
Sometimes things work out, the traffic is not too bad, I find a great parking spot—I’m limited by the size of my vehicle–it does not make those sharp turns in parking garages and does not fit into those tiny parking spots;—-you would think that since Texas is the state of the truck–parking garage constructors would take that into consideration.
My last two trips to Houston have not been successful. There was no parking in my usual spot; I did find a spot in a garage designed to hold school buses…great overhead space and wide turns and large spots. But it was blocks away from where I needed to be—and the ticketing device for the train did not work. So I walked–
and walked
and then sat down on a bench.
I ate my package of cheese on crackers—how many of those packages did I eat while a resident–quick/cheap/no prep required.
This is supposed to be my ‘golden’ years–a time to enjoy life.
But I spend my time fruitlessly seeking medical care. Waiting for someone who barely graduated from high school to tell me if I can have a certain medication (not an experimental or expensive one—just not on their formulary list–for some reason—I suspect due to inability to contract a cheap price–not anything to do with the quality of the medication or its effects.
Profit and dividends to shareholders and CEO’s enticement packages seem to now take precedent over standard medical care. Denials and appeals are now part of my daily life as i try to access care that will allow me to drive more than thirty minutes, walk more than twenty, and do something more than just sitting in a chair watching game show re-runs.
I’ve been watching some medical dramas and am reminded about how physically demanding my job was–I lifted so many patients, reduced shoulders, struggled with violent mentally ill or inebriated or demented patients.
Now I need medical care.
It is not there.
I never reached my destination.
I am waiting for that barely graduated from high school insurance employee to deny my request and then I can decide if I pay for what I need out of my pocket at a ridiculous price or go back to watching game show re-runs and wait to die.
Sylvia Weir Art 
That is so sad in so many ways. I wish there were a way for me to help. Mostly I’m praying that I don’t get anything else that requires expensive or hard to get medication.